Many share characteristics of the spotlight-loving narcissist

He felt as if he were in the spotlight every time he walked into a room. When he was around people he thought were “important,” he became charming and felt entitled to admiration.

She was a woman who found it difficult to pass a mirror without stopping to admire herself. She loved being the belle of the ball and if you were not devoted to her every whim, you were not worthy of her time or affections. She believed that envy and jealousy were at the root of every criticism of her personality.

What do these two individuals have in common? They share traits of narcissism, and although clinical or pathological narcissism affects only about 1 percent of the population, there are millions of individuals who share characteristics of narcissist.

The problem is named for Narcissus, a character in Greek mythology who saw himself as more beautiful and better than everyone else. His self-love kept him from loving anyone else, and in the end, he fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water and drowned.

Narcissistic individuals feel the need to be admired at all times. Some narcissistic individuals frequently feel empty or bored. Their relationships are often shallow and uncommitted.

Narcissistic individuals do not like anyone to disagree with them and dislike any challenges to their authority, skills or judgment.

These same individuals often ignore or simply do not understand the effect their behavior has on others. Many never consider the mayhem they create in interpersonal relationships. Narcissistic individuals may at first seem excited and interested in a relationship, but they soon look for power and dominance, rather than heartfelt affection.

It is not surprising that in seeking a mate, the narcissist often chooses a dependent counterpart who will be solicitous and subservient.

There is a spectrum of narcissistic behaviors ranging from mild and transient to serious and permanent. Unfortunately, most adults suffering from the severest form of narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, do not seek help unless they are threatened by a catastrophic loss. The prognosis for narcissists is often poor, but by seeking alternative beliefs about how their life truly impacts others, they can sometimes make life changes.

The recognition that dreams of power, wealthy, long-lasting beauty and fame are ill-begotten and hollow is important for narcissistic individuals to realize if they wish for positive growth and change in their lives.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002