Being a single parent presents unique challenges and special rewards.
The single-parent family may be one defined by the literal presence of only one parent, or one where only one of the parents contributes their presence and resources to the family unit.
Many factors can cause this second set of conditions, such as separation of the parents, one parent not being willing to responsibly contribute to the family, emotional detachment of one parent or any number of other variables.
The following are some suggestions that single parents can use to function more effectively as heads of households:
• Do set priorities, putting accomplishing the most essential elements of a healthy family at the top of the list. Then continually reevaluate these goals and priorities to accommodate changes that may occur both inside and outside the family unit as circumstances change.
For example, an increase or decrease in income of the family may occur due to job change, salary increase or other circumstance. This will necessitate examining the family structure and determining how time is spent together.
Maintain flexibility in your thinking. Embrace change as part of an evolutionary process in which the family continues to grow and develop in a healthy fashion.
• Establish some basic, fundamental guidelines for the family to follow. Stick with them. Consider the importance of unconditional love between family members, commitment to spiritual involvement and training, commitment to teamwork and compromise and successful completion of educational endeavors.
Let the accomplishment of those goals serve as a reward for the hard work and the commitment necessary to achieve those goals. Focus less on the acquisition of material possessions. Also, don’t put too much emphasis on recognition from accomplishments in competitive endeavors or the recognition of achievements set by other than family members. Too much emphasis on such things can hurt self-esteem if seeking recognition takes precedent over a sense of accomplishment.
• Let any teamwork – sharing of duties and responsibilities – and positive regard for one another and effective communication patterns serve as cornerstones for the healthy functioning of the family unit. Brief but directed family meetings can help accomplish these goals and keep the family unit emotionally close. Making each family member a part of the team and recognizing individual contributions is essential in this part of the process.
When problems or conflicts arise, deal with them as quickly as possible. Attempt tot manage them in a way that will define them as mistakes that can be corrected rather than as faults blamed on individual members.
• Seek and enlist the support of friends and relatives to provide opportunities to interact with members of the opposite gender within the family.
• Seek support groups such as Parents without Partners to assist you in learning techniques, shortcuts and networks available for single parents.
Parenting isn’t easy for dual-parent families. It stands to reason that single parents need our support and assistance in their efforts toward rearing healthy, happy children and in preserving their own mental health.
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