Read holiday greetings between the lines

The holiday season provides a variety of ways to remember friends and family. Reach out and touch someone is the suggestion of a long distance telephone provider. Christmas caroling is a unique way of sending a message in song. Remembering others with a gift is, of course, a popular way of telling someone we remember them.

But perhaps one of the most interesting and creative ways of communicating during this time is the sending of Christmas cards or season's greetings cards. And card shops have greeting cards for every occasion and for every sentiment.

• Sometimes the sender's desire to express religious thoughts and careful selection was given to convey this to the recipient. Sometimes the sender wishes to emphasize these feelings while others prefer to speak in more general terms.

• Sometimes the sender may select a serious and conventional message, or may choose one with humor and wit. It may express their personality or it may be chosen with the personality of the receiver in mind.

• Some senders choose to combine a holiday greeting with a pictorial update of their family. Again, it is the sender's choice. Does the he or she wish to send a picture of the entire family, or just the children? Is the family engaged in activity or indulging in a hobby, or in a more formal pose? What the sender chooses to display in the picture often leads to interesting speculation by the receiver. Sometimes the taking of these photos becomes an annual event.

• Does the card include a personal handwritten message? Or, does the sender choose to simply stick with the printed greeting? If personal messages are sent, the sender can choose to be more or less intimate resulting in a variety of reactions on the part of the receiver.

Perhaps the most interesting and revealing message of the holidays is contained in the holiday letter. The letter may or may not accompany a card. Some are fairly brief; others may be several pages in length. Some may be a review of the year and is intended to catch the reader up with news since last year, while others may contain a philosophy of the writer and his or her view of the world.

Many senders seem to enjoy taking the opportunity to expound upon their good fortunes of the past year in a pretentious manner of braggadocio. Their economic triumphs, material windfalls, professional recognitions, and their children's accomplishments are presented in such a blatant way that the receiver often shakes his or her head in disbelief and even embarrassment for the sender.
But again, good news from old friends is always received with pleasure.

Most holiday letters, though, contain a realistic mixture of both good fortune and tragedy, hope and disappointment, or laughter and sorrow. These letters leave the reader with feelings of warmth and friendship and are certainly means of keeping long distance friendships alive and flourishing.

In fact, most of us enjoy the personalized messages and appreciate the time and effort it takes to remember our friends and relatives. We treasure them, display them in our homes, and consider the exchange of greetings an important part of the holiday season.

Copyright c 1994 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.