Self-awareness during season can lower stress

With the holiday season upon us I have had many requests from readers for ways to “live through” the weeks ahead and still enjoy them.

Many people find themselves in a paradox. In theory, the days filled with love, happiness and pleasant memories often cause a great deal of stress.

For many of us it becomes the “too much season” as we eat too much, spend too much, do too much and expect too much.


Let’s take these trouble spots one at a time and see what can be done to avoid these pitfalls.

Celebrating in most cultures and societies frequently has as one of its components oral gratification and symbolism. We gather with relatives and friends and find that a universal characteristic of the event is centered around an elaborate meal. Open houses, business parties, church functions and civic remembrances take us from one festive table to another. Frequently losing sight of the increased caloric intake, we tend to make comments like, “Oh well, it’s the holidays and this is to be expected.” This mental set often leads to a weight gain resulting in self-directed frustration and anger after the holidays. If weight gain or some restricted diet is a concern of yours, decide now to develop a self-awareness of your eating pattern.

The time-honored tradition of exchanging gifts is enjoyed by most people. However, when Madison Avenue chips away at our bank account, the post-holiday season finds us in a less than happy state of mind over the bills accumulated and the financial “back-pedaling” that occurs. We can minimize this trap by budgeting a certain amount for gifts and sticking to it. Getting into the spirit of Christmas should not be equated with getting into debt. Spending more than the family budget allows is too much of a good things.

Doing too much and being involved in too many activities causes many people to say, “I will be glad when this is all over so I can relax some.” Enjoyment of the hustle and bustle of the holiday activities ceases when fatigue and exhaustion set in. Nerves become frayed; tempers become short because we are trying to do too much in too short a period of time. Again, discipline and planning are necessary. Sit down with a calendar and mark off some “at home” quiet time with the family. Mark other time to be spent with activities, friends and relatives as quality rather than quantity time. Pay attention to your feelings. Use good common sense and when social obligations pile up, learn to say, “No, thank you,” and keep your life in perspective.

The last area I would like to comment on is unrealistic expectations. Certainly peace, good will and a good time is the expectation of everyone. Many people set themselves up for disappointment by believing that everything will go as planned and everyone will be happy as a result. But a healthy frame of mind to strive for is to realize that some stress is unavoidable. For instance, some family members will be together during the holidays for the first time since last year. Mixing various ages and mixing relatives of different interests requires organization to keep things flowing smoothly. In large family gatherings a broken glass, a soiled carpet, or even a lively fight among the youngsters is to be expected. A sense of humor helps if things don’t’ go as well as planned.

To really enjoy the holiday season, think of your happiest memories. I believe you will find that expecting too much, doing too much or spending too much was not the key ingredient. Happy holidays.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985