Some of life’s ruts can be hard to dodge

Several years ago I had an experience that left a definite impression on me. It provided me with several lessons in life.

One morning my son Vance and I decided to go deer hunting on our farm, which we had recently acquired.

We set out, driving an old station wagon that we thought appropriate. Of the available transportation, it came closest to meeting our hunting and fishing needs at the time.

As we approached the farm, we were surprised to see that several inches of snow had fallen during the night.

We turned onto what we thought was the road to the pasture, but the snow kept us from seeing any old car tracks.

As we crept along, our confidence grew and we assumed we were on track. About that time I hit a low spot where water had been standing and we felt the tires sink rapidly into the mud.

I rocked the car back and forth from forward to reverse in an attempt to extricate us, but quickly realized I was making the situation worse. In a few brief minutes we knew the car was sitting on its axles and frame deep in mud.

We walked on to the deer blinds and about 11 a.m. met back at the wagon.

Deciding that we had neither the tools nor the experience to get the car unstuck, we walked several miles to a farmhouse and sought assistance.

The resident graciously offered to help with his tractor. Using chains, he quickly pulled the car out of the mud and onto the road. He noted the inappropriate use of a vehicle of this type for off-road activities.

I have often thought of the parallel between that experience and the problems related to me by individuals I have counseled.

While moving through life, they often have encountered difficulties or found themselves in unfamiliar territory. Being unable to resolve their problems, they eventually lose their psychological footing.

What at first seemed to be a small impediment became a deep rut. Eventually they bogged down all the way to their axles, causing them to become immobilized with doubts, fears, uncertainties and eventually hopelessness. They rocked back and forth attempting various methods of dealing with their difficulties. Often these attempts only compounded their problems and they were stuck.

In rocking back and forth, they attempted to deal with their stress in unhealthy ways:

They used alcohol or drugs.
They bounced from job to job earning a poor record that created the impression of instability and unreliability.
They were unable to establish or maintain relationships with emotionally healthy others.
They gradually eroded and destroyed their belief in their own ability to cope with life’s adversities and problems.

They needed help. Next week I will discuss some techniques that may help people get out and stay out of deep ruts in life.

Copyright c 1995 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.