Burnout can lead to fears of inadequacy

The troubled expression on my patient’s face reflected the concern, pain, and helplessness he felt. He attempted to explain how this career and economic well-being were at risk. His marriage, he felt, had been stale for several years. His wife had drifted away from him, he thought. And their two teenage children seem to belong to the family in name only. Perhaps worst of all, he had begun to wonder if the world would be better off without him. This man clearly recognized his feelings of inadequacy and depression.

As I probed deeper into his past, I found he had once been, by his recollection, successful, happy and self-assured. What had led him to his feelings of despair? The economic threat he perceived was shared by many as the recession was widespread, but his predicament was not nearly as bad as many others I had talked with in his profession. And economic forecasters were predicting a healthy upturn in the near future for the business sector in which he was employed.

I did feel he was correct in his assessment of a stale and deteriorating marriage. Up to now, however, no major stumbling blocks such as affairs, alcohol abuse or drugs or even discussions of divorce had taken place. I classified their marital relationship as deeply rutted, but not without hope for enrichment and renewal.

His description of his teenagers sounded like they were in the typical throws of adolescence, experiencing generous helpings of negativeness, rebelliousness and the desire to be separated from the rest of the family.

This man felt he had lost most of the control in his life. His role as the bread winner – husband and father – had changed. He felt over-the-hill, someone to be used by business associated and his family until such time as they no longer needed him or until he could be replaced, or even dropped dead.

Although his physician assured him his health was good, he continued to suffer from aches and pains. He was fatigued and required a lot of sleep. His greatest concerns he summed up were the prolonged economic downturn, his inability to find solutions to his money problems without working long hours and his almost constant fear and apprehension about the effectiveness of his efforts in overcoming his plight. He toiled and struggled day in and day out, rarely feeling he was producing a positive change. His family and friends often privately described him as becoming increasingly cynical, sarcastic, pessimistic and distant.

After further assessment, I concluded that this man’s problem could be classified as a classic case of “burnout” coinciding with the stage of life called the mid-life crisis. This constellation of psychological difficulties is unfortunately all too common.

Those of us involved professionally in counseling know that left unchecked, the problem often deteriorates and produces undesirable outcomes such as extramarital affairs, abuse of alcohol and drugs, and even suicide.

Next week I will discuss further the problem of burnout.

Copyright c 1991 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.