Support, time cure homesickness
My daughter, Noelle, age 10, attended camp for the first time this summer. She chose Camp Longhorn in the Hill Country of Texas. It has provided wonderful experiences and memories for my two sons.
Her experience, which turned out wonderfully well, had its moments of despair during the first part of her camp term. T eh letters we received were filled with the classic statements of a homesick child. My wife and I pored over each letter and suffered the agony of having a child in distress.
Having both been campers ourselves, we knew that being homesick, especially during the first time away from home, is not unusual and usually dissipates with time, especially when in the hands of caring professionals. As we hoped for, her letters gradually changed, from ones containing sadness to messages of excitement, happiness and positive experiences.
With my daughter’s permission, I am citing passages from some of her letters to contrast the change that occurred during her camping time.
In her first letter she said, “I am so homesick. I feel like I want to come home. Every night I cry in my sleep because I miss my family so much. I wish tomorrow was the day that we left. I had to go to the infirmary three times yesterday because my chest ached so much because I was homesick.”
The next day we received another letter that read, “The Fourth of July was horrible because I was so homesick I couldn’t enjoy it. Please send me some pictures of home and the family.”
The letters got better each day as she began to talk more about her activities and the friends she was making. By the second week at camp I received this letter: “Dear Dad, Camp is great now for me. I treasure all the fun and friends I’ve made and I will miss them a lot, but I miss you too.”
The experience was good for the whole family in that we all made some adjustments. My wife and I realize that Noelle is entering adolescence and the normal process of separation is under way and will continue during the next few years. Some of the things we learned may help other parents.
• Don’t be surprised if your camper gets homesick. Because of our two boys did not experience it, we were caught unaware.
• Don’t tell campers how much you miss them and look forward to their homecoming if they are already homesick. Instead, ask questions about camp activities, tell them things are boring at home, but that their pets, siblings and friends are fine.
• Send mail. Books and other items acceptable to camp policy help. Enlist the support of friends and relatives to drop a brief note or postcard.
• Relax and trust the camp staff to deal with your child’s homesickness. Being familiar with the problem, they know to say and do the correct thing for each child. Enjoy the time you have to yourselves; prepare to make the reunion a happy one.
• Remember that homesickness like separation anxiety with children just starting to school usually passes with proper care and time. Our daughter’s first statement when we arrived to pick her up was, “I can’t wait until next year so I can come back.”
