Teens can avoid early involvement

Last week I discussed some aspects of teenage sexuality and one of the arguments for postponing sexual involvement.

If adolescents would realize that the teenage years should be a time of getting acquainted with members of the opposite sex without yielding to sexual urges, many problems such as pregnancy, venereal disease and psychological stress and guilt could avoided.

Many parents, teachers and church professionals feel uncomfortable dealing with these issues. Many simply prefer to let the teenager find out about sexuality from other teenagers. The teaching of sex education in schools is not acceptable to all segments of our society. Even there the biological processes of reproduction are insufficient ammunition against involvement.

To lessen the likelihood that teenagers will become sexually involved, they can:

• Develop a network of friends who share the same beliefs and value systems, who adhere to the same moral codes of their families.

• Develop friends who share common interests in sports, who participate in similar activities for leisure and pleasure.

• Avoid groups that encourage early sexual involvement. Peer pressure can be reversed.

• Avoid dating members of the opposite sex who are several years older. Sexual expectations of older partners can often lead to broken hearts.

• Seek activities that promote group entertainment.

• Avoid visiting apartments “loaned by a friend who is out of town” or homes where parents are away.

• Avoid leaving a party early to park on a deserted road, even if you plan to just talk.

• Be aware that using chemicals that alter perception and willpower, such as alcohol and drugs, are often the first step to lowering defenses and impairing judgment.

• Avoid going stead. But if you and a member of the opposite sex find yourself getting in a serious relationship, make it the responsibility of both the girl and the boy to exclude sexual intimacy. If either partner is unwilling to accept these rules, sever the relationship. Make these ground rules the same for maintaining a relationship.

• Say no to sexual involvement. Wait for maturity. Don’t confuse sexual attraction with love. Compatibility and the necessary chemistry are the combination that results in lasting love.

Vigilance and commitment are necessary to keep these principles intact. The results will lead to mature relationships free of pressures from teenage sexual involvement.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986