The Bad News Bearer: A Heavy Burden

At some point in our lives, many of us will be asked to deliver bad news to another person. Those charged with that burden carry an awesome responsibility.

Here is a sampling of such situations:

* An employer must inform his or her employee of termination or layoff.

* A health care professional must give an unfavorable prognosis to a patient or deliver news of his death to loved ones.

* A law enforcement official has to report a tragedy to an accident victim’s family.

* A military chaplain must tell the family members of the injury or death of a person in uniform.

Knowing the most humane, compassionate and effective way of communicating unfavorable news to another person requires thought and planning.

Approaching a grim situation with careful planning helps the receiver absorb the negative news and can help the bearer of bad tidings deal with his or her own feelings.

Here are some suggestions:

* Be sensitive and knowledgeable about the emotions that the receiver of bad news is going to experience. Shock, disbelief, numbness, anger and depression are normal stages in the grief and loss process.

* The person getting bad news may be so stunned that he or she misinterprets, completely denies and refuses to hear what is being said.

* Answer questions when possible, but don’t spend too much time going into details that the other person may not be ready to hear.

* Let the other person know that you care and experience sorrow for him or her, but refrain from letting your own emotions make a tragic situation even more complicated.

* Be prepared to offer follow-up suggestions of support, such as helping him contact other family members and making sure that he is capable of handling the crisis without being a danger to himself or someone else. In general, be as supportive as your role will permit.

* Don’t make the situation worse by offering unrealistic or untruthful statements that offer false hope.

* Refrain from making statements such as “I know how you feel” or “This hurts me as much as it does you.”

* Let your role be more of a sounding board and listener rather than a problem solver and fixer.

Remember that the manner in which sad news is delivered can make a difference in the way the receiver handles the tragedy.