How many times have you verbalized to yourself any of the following phrases?
If only I’d kept my big mouth shut a little longer I wouldn’t be where I am now.
I should have listened to my inter voice which told me to hold off making a decision until tomorrow.
I just couldn’t stand to keep silent so I opened my mouth and inserted both feet, all the way to my tonsils.
If I could just learn to shut up while I was still ahead my problems would be few in number.
If any of these statements apply to you when you have said or done something that you were later sorry for, then some of the following suggestions might be helpful:
• Ask yourself, is my involvement critical or even very important to the outcome of the situation. Am I wanting to get involved to help someone else or to meet some need of my own such as flattering my ego, trying to impress someone with my knowledge, needing to exert control or simply being nosey.
• Would I be better off thinking about my involvement prior to “jumping in?” Perhaps I should sleep on this overnight and defer making a decision about my involvement until later.
• What difference will my involvement make 24 hours from now, a week from now or a hundred years from now? Can my involvement be really important or simply another voice in an already overcrowded choir?
• What is that this situation really needs from me? Am I accurately perceiving the big picture or would it be better to step back and gather more information before I offer my two cents?
• If I do respond now to a request being made of me, will it make things better or actually end up making things worse? If the answer is not clearly that my presence will make things better then perhaps I should back off and reconsider my involvement?
• Am I being objective about this situation or instead getting personally involved and losing a clear and accurate perspective?
Hopefully, some of the above questions and considerations will help you make the correct decision about your involvement in the lives and requests of other people. A great deal of stress can be avoided if we follow paths where we are clearly needed with an accurate perception of where we’re going and the consequences that will result from our involvement.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2000
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I’m an experienced Clinical Practitioner, Administrator, Professional Writer, and Lecturer.
