Tune into your feelings on a daily basis

Learning to recognize your feelings can help you maintain good mental health.

Most of us would say that we usually know why we feel the way we do. When we are happy, we can quickly say why. When we are sad, we think we know the reason. And when we are mad, we can rationalize or point the finger at someone or something that has happened.


But to be really in touch with our feelings we have to be aware of signals we receive. I frequently ask my patients to check themselves on day to day routines, such as:

• How do you respond when you wee a beautiful sunset? Does they majestic beauty of fresh fallen snow make you tingle? What do you feel when you salute the flag or listen to the Star Spangled Banner?

After they have thought about these questions, I ask them to label the emotions and feelings that they have. Then we move on to specific feelings and try to identify them. I ask them:

• What makes you angry?

It is okay to be angry, but what do you choose to do about your anger? Will you use this strong emotion to do something in a positive way, or will you let this feeling destroy you?

• Are you sensitive to the feelings and emotions of your spouse?

If you keep in touch with the feelings of your spouse, your relationship will improve.

• Do you consider the feelings of your children?

Talk to your children at an early age about feelings. Get them to express their thoughts about daily happenings. What makes them laugh? What makes them cry? Who really hurts their feelings?

• At work, what part of the day do you feel the happiest? Do you notice your co-workers and are you aware of their feelings?

Human resource specialists say that knowledge and intelligence are components of success, but equally so is the component called people skills. If you are sensitive to the needs of your co-workers you will be a better communicator and a stronger member of the team.

• What is your greatest feeling of joy? What gives you a burst of happiness?

Obviously this varies with each person, but it is good to check yourself to realize that happiness does not usually equate with money, fame or material things.

• What do you know about grief?

If you or someone within your circle of friends experiences a loss, how so you express your feelings? It has been said that since we are born to die, we are born to grieve, to mourn the loss of those for whom we care. Remember that no two people experience grief the same way. Talking about your feelings of grief has a healing effect. Understanding the grieving process helps one to move on with life.

Other than losing a loved one, what other losses in your life would cause you to grieve?

Feelings are emotions and we need to check ourselves so that we can keep our lives on an even keel.

Copyright c 1995 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.