Ways to Cut Down on the Stresses of the Holidays

The holiday period between Thanksgiving and early January is different from other time periods of the year.

The holidays cause a condition for many that I like to call “seasonal stress syndrome.” The condition can be more or less severe depending on the individual affected by the situation, their outlook and their lack of preparedness.

Two areas that often are the groundwork for difficulties are:


A person’s tendency to get caught up in the excesses.

Individual difficulties, particularly if the person has experienced some type of loss.


In the first category, many individuals have excessive expectations about the need and desire to have a “perfect holiday season.” Unfortunately, this rarely if ever occurs.

With less than perfect occurrences, they feel a let down at the end of the holiday season. They want the right gift for everyone on their list, happiness and goodwill throughout the entire season, and the lack of conflict and undesirable encounters that often occur as friends and relatives gather.

Excesses in spending for materially related symbols of the season, or gift giving, certainly produce stress, especially when the bills come rolling in after the first of the year.

Too much drinking or eating, too many activities and parties and too much deviation from healthy routines can lead to stress and discomfort.

The second area of concern deals with individuals who have suffered a loss.

Many individuals fail to consider the effect of divorce on their children during the holiday season. When parents pursue their own agendas- which often deviate significantly from the needs of their children- stress can be induced.

At the same time, stress is often felt by divorced parents who experience feelings of frustration, anger, guilt and sadness, all of which are usually intensified during the holidays.

Old memories, unmet dreams and expectations arise. Complex logistical problems, such as who spends time with whom, affect whole families.

Power struggles between divorced parents can be intensified during this time and children often feel they must walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting either parent.

Holidays can be sad and depressing for individuals who have lost their jobs and are seeking employment. Many have told me they simply want the season to become non-existent as they have little to celebrate.

For individuals who have lost a loved one, stress and sadness are present and more focused as old memories that were not as intense at other times are revived during holiday gaieties.

There are ways to minimize seasonal stress syndrome.

You can decide before the onset of the season to plan ahead. By minimizing excesses, keeping things in proper healthy perspective and relying heavily upon support systems, you can make this potentially difficult time of the year more enjoyable and stress resistant.

Just remember to make realistic expectations. It’s worth the effort.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992