Valentine's Day Endearing to Sweethearts

Will you be my Valentine?

During February, this question is asked by both adults and children as they participate in the tradition of exchanging hearts, flowers, candy and other mementoes.

One of the interesting things about Valentine’s Day is the variety of relationships celebrated at this occasion.

Children exchange paper hearts representing their friendship for each other. They observe the day at school with decorations, Valentine boxes and handmade articles in art classes.

Moving toward adolescence, an awakening of interest in the opposite sex occurs. Often described as “puppy love,” it is an acute awareness leading to mature and adult feelings. Valentine’s Day then becomes especially significant for sweethearts.

Adults often exchange symbols of love and affection for other adults and children.

As the above demonstrates, love has more than one level of meaning and expression. To use the word love to express care, concern, compassion and deep friendship for each other may send a message that is intense, committed and rewarding. A deep friendship between people is often described as mutual love.

Parents have a deep and abiding love for their children; children bond with love for their parents. And the highest form of love is that love between a person and God.

The world applies appropriately to all these situations, but a different and unique set of feelings exist when two people are “in love.” Filled with romance and passion, being “in love” is not found in any other relationship. If both partners are not “in love,” the absence is obvious to both individuals. To be sweethearts, two individuals must love each other and be in love. I have seen this kind of love exist between newlyweds as well as those who have been married for more than 50 years.

Being “in love” does not imply that the relationship is free of problems, that disagreements do not exist, that crisis will not occur. In my many years of marriage counseling, I often ask what people mean by being “in love” and these answers have been repeated many times:


We want to be together in a long-term relationship much more than we want to be apart. We are best friends as well as lovers.

We both share a willingness and commitment to overcome the obstacles that may emerge to threaten our relationship.

We work to make our love and commitment to each other come before all others, including family members, and before work and leisure.

Being in love may mean that even if the flame occasionally burns low, it will never be extinguished.

We know our love for each other is unique, different, complex and full of mystery. We cannot hope to always understand each other, but we trust that something exists between us which is stronger than any problem we might encounter.

We have never stopped saying “I love you.”


I have been fortunate to talk with many couples who felt their commitment to each other was binding and long lasting. To them, Valentine’s Day is usually special.

Copyright © 1992 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.