Reunions put life in proper perspective

It was the custom for my father’s family of 11 brothers and sisters to gather each summer for a family reunion.

Many times there were 200 to 300 family members in attendance, so we usually met at a state park with accommodations that varied from rustic cabins to more opulent lodges.

The events were well planned with games, contest and exhibits of family memorabilia. Meeting new family members who “married into the clan” and just plain ol’ visiting were all part of the daily schedule.

Saturday night was always a “stunt” show and talent contest. Each family would produce and perform a short, entertaining segment, and prizes were given at the end of the evening for the best presentation in several categories. Imagination and creativity drew the greatest applause.

Church services were on Sunday morning. Because several family members were clergymen, the service was our own, distinctly and uniquely family oriented. It was this part of the reunion that I remember best.

The service was an opportunity for sharing expressions of love, deceased family members were remembered, old grudges were buried, and new victories were celebrated. The entire service had a unifying feeling that seemed to put life in its proper perspective.

And as much fun as the arrivals and greetings were, it was the partings that I vividly recall. For the young it was a cheery “see you next summer” kind of farewell. For the elderly there were the embraces and the reality that “this might be their last time together.”

For weeks after the reunion, my family shared moments of observation and perceptions about different relatives. In fact races of the reunion lingered until plans emerged for the one the next summer. The annual letter arrived outlining plans, asking for organizational assistance and suggestions for activities.

Several years ago I wrote a column about reunions that prompted many readers to request further information. I had said that no family reunion was perfect and that you should plan and think ahead about the things you cherish, concentrate on values received, love and good memories when you attend your own reunion.

I encourage you to attend you family gatherings this summer if you are ready to drop old grudges, compliment and/or congratulate those you meet on any successes they have had, resist harboring resentment or cynicism toward those with whom you may have had unpleasant encounters in the past.

Relationships, constantly changing, varying between parent and child, siblings and in-laws as time and circumstances set the pace. Unresolved feelings tend to surface. Prepare to meet these changes with maturity and good humor. Accept the fact that you can’t change anyone. You can only change yourself.

For a happy reunion with your clan:

Recognize that enjoyment of family meetings comes from feeling good about yourself. Think like a genealogist. You are one of the branches of the family tree.

You may certainly reminisce, but emphasize and concentrate on today. Tomorrow may never exist; yesterday is an unchangeable memory.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1993