When Too Much Change Occurs, Seek Healthy Psychological Grounding

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

During the last year I have been through many stressful events. Most, but not all of them, were a result of what most people would consider negative or unfortunate circumstances. These were: a difficult separation followed by a brutal divorce, a death of two close family members and a promotion at work, which included a dramatic increase in salary but also increased responsibility.

Needless to say, there were a lot of ripple effects that went along with these changes. I am raising two very active teenage children and have a very stressful and demanding career. Often I find myself feeling overwhelmed, confused, helpless and depressed.

An opportunity has come along to take a new job and move to another city, but I’m not sure if this is the right time to make still more changes. Any suggestions?

-A reader in California

Dear Reader:

Obviously, there are many factors concerning you and your family’s life that I have no knowledge about. The question about the advisability of further changes for all of you at this time would seem to indicate the need for face-to-face professional counseling to assist you in your decisions.

In order to regain your psychological balance, you also may need assistance in processing the changes, including the losses that you have encountered over the past year. Without self-nurturance, the constellation of past changes and the current obligations you now have may put you at risk for medical and psychological difficulties.

Step back and catch your breath. Focus on the basics of proper diet, sleep, exercise and healthy relationships. Spend time with your children and help them deal with the emotions that they are experiencing. Carefully examine and focus on your priorities. Will more immediate changes make things better or potentially produce more instability?

Striving for healthy psychological grounding is a phrase that comes to mind, and anything that loosens already slippery footing should probably be avoided. Lean on the wisdom and support of family and friends. Seek spiritual guidance to assist you with this extremely important time in your life. Enjoy the positive elements of what you have now and have already accomplished up to this point and then move cautiously ahead with new opportunities.

Good luck to you and your children in finding the equilibrium that you all need.