Aim your resolutions toward the positive

We’re just about there folks! Everyone agrees that it’s almost the beginning of a new century and (depending on which source you consider), some say it is almost the beginning of a new millennium. If you are ever going to turn over a new leaf, start off on the right foot and make a set of New Years resolutions, this would seem to be the time to do so. In today’s column, the last of this century, I would like to propose some things that might be helpful if you are prone to look at new directions and positive changes at this time of year.

• Resolve to quit living only in the past and/or predominately for the future. Instead, try to increase your ability to learn from the past, be excited and look forward to the future, but enjoy every single experience of the present – today. Individuals who are “prisoners” of their past don’t grow or change and miss a great deal in life. Those who think mainly about their future become “prisoners” of anticipation while those who enjoy each sunrise and sunset and all the time in between are most likely to be emotionally healthy individuals.

• Find something in life in which you can become vitally absorbed. The opposite of this is tedium and boredom, both tools for digging a rutted existence. Ideally, a passionate involvement and commitment in ones vocation and career provides a healthy framework for a major portion of most peoples lives. This same joie de vivre hopefully carries over into hobbies, social interests and other activities so that those choosing to retire do not experience a loss of purposes that help organize their existence.

• Strive to avoid rigidity and inflexibility by embracing openness, diversity and change. Lifestyles that are governed by tight boundaries, stereotyped roles and an over abundance of rules create a brittle, static existence which is prone to cracking or breaking under stress.

• If you don’t already do so, begin to practice unconditional self acceptance. Measuring your self worth by other people’s standards your performance and your accomplishments and achievements, leaves you open to chronic insecurity and fragile self-esteem.

• Don’t be afraid to take some risks and venture into the unknown in life. Nothing ventured nothing gained is true, especially when the risks are taken in a considered manner and, when possible, under advisement. Learn to accept uncertainty as a fact in an ever changing world. Don’t give up order and self discipline but don’t be bound by the need for control and predictability in everything you do.

Have a safe and happy New Years holiday. I’ll see you back here in the year 2000.


Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1999