Are You Trapped By Your Fears?

Fear can be a crippling emotion. Do you harbor any of the following fears?

• Fear of rejection. Do you believe that asking for what you want or need will result in a "no" answer that leads you to reject the risk and not ask?

• Fear of disapproval. Are you fearful that performing a certain task, such as making a speech or writing a story, may be seen by others as poorly done? Someone laughing is sure to mean they think I am stupid, someone glancing means they are disinterested and bored or, someone clapping probably just indicates they are being polite.

• Fear of change. Having to do something different is bound to be more work. Having to do something different may mean I have to learn something new. Having to do something different means I may fail.

• Fear of the future. My past has been so painful and I am so unhappy at present that the future is bound to be even worse. The future is uncharted and without guarantees, so I will try to repeat old behaviors and live in the past when possible. At least I've been there. Future happiness is only for those who are born lucky, which doesn't include me, so the future looks pretty bleak.

• Fears of relationships. Relationships often lead to the need for trust, and I have never been able to trust anyone. Relationships may lead to love, and no one has ever loved me. Relationships may lead to commitment and I don't like to promise anyone anything.

Someone once wrote that fear is often F-alse E-vidence A-ppearing R-eal.

The F-alse E-vidence referred to is the erroneous and distorted perceptions of the way we think because of the belief systems that we have developed from negative, past experiences.

A childhood and adolescence filled with unhappy experiences are, perhaps, simply patterns of communication thrust upon us by uncaring, uneducated or uninsightful caregivers. These result in patterns of thinking and belief systems about us which are illogical, unreasonable, and unrealistic.

Fortunately, these belief systems can be modified and changed. But this does require time and effort. Changing the way we view the world, can help correct this irrational thinking and lead to a dissipation of fear and uncertainty.

If you feel “trapped by your fears” you may want to change, as life on the other side of fear is much better.