Determination can help squelch fears that rule lives

Are you an individual who lives with almost constant fear? Sometimes, individuals with this emotional malady are described as being “ruled by fear.” Fear, worry, and anxiety all drain an individual’s psychological energy producing diversion from the ordinary joys and happiness of life.

Let’s look at some of the fears that these people face:

• Fear of rejection—being told NO is far worse than a slap in the face for these individuals. Rather than believing “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” their motto sounds more like “seeking love risks fleeting love, a thought too great to bear.”

• Fear of change—change and the resulting possibility of uncertainty and possible failure is the two ton gorilla in the corner for some fearful souls. A high need for control and a perfectionistic personality makes almost any change too much of a risk for the lover of the status quo.

• Fear of the future—tomorrow and its bountiful difficulties make neutral or even reverse gear the favorite of our friend who hates to look ahead. The future is uncharted and without guarantees so why take a chance.

• Fear of disapproval—“I must please everyone, all the time” is the mantra of those who suffer from the fear of disapproval. Obviously, this Charlie Brown is doomed to disappointment because no one can please everyone all the time. These same high needs for approval people often take any form or criticism very personally.

• Fear of relationships—relationships often lead to the need for trust and those who fear relationships are often fearful of trusting others. In other instances of this same problem, the individual may fear any kind of commitment which is usually a component of close relationships.

Fortunately, these belief systems can be modified and changed. But this does require time and effort. Changing the way we view the world, especially as it related to us, can help correct this irrational thinking and lead to a dissipation of fear and uncertainty.

Do you know anyone that fits the patterns outlined above? If so, they may want to change, as life on the other side of fear is much better.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2003