Avoid the Tendency To Personalize Negative Events

Faulty thinking, resulting from illogical, irrational assumptions, leads many individuals to perceive themselves in a negative, self-depreciating manner.

Such people frequently tend to degrade themselves, judging themselves in an uncomplimentary way. Their ability to handle criticism is limited and they erroneously interpret much of the feedback given to them as criticism, which makes them miserable.

One of their greatest handicaps is the tendency to personalize negative events, and falsely assuming they are at fault and the cause of unfavorable outcomes. This thinking can be changed by practicing some of the following methods:

* Stop jumping to conclusions that are not valid or warranted. Write down possible explanations for a given event and look at them.

* Enlist the support of other people to help you see things more objectively. Many self-improvement courses incorporate behavioral techniques designed to help people see the world around them in a more rational manner.

* Practice being more assertive and speak up for yourself when appropriate and necessary.

Another useful technique in building self-confidence and decreasing negative thought patterns is visualization. Some examples include:

* Find a comfortable quiet place. Close your eyes and vividly imagine yourself in a situation that has a positive outcome. Repeat this until you feel more comfortable.

* Picture yourself conversing with someone who previously intimidated you and made you feel uncomfortable. Mentally rehearse a positive interaction, one in which you remain calm, presenting your views in a confident, forthright manner and responding in a clear, concise, self-confident way.

* Don’t ruminate about the whys and what-ifs too long. Vow to learn from the experience, but do not assume the mistake labels you as a failure or as one bound to commit the same error in the future.

Our personal perceptions of who we are can be modified with practice and patience.