Bad Economy Is “Tearing” This Marriage Apart
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
My husband and I have had a good marriage for the past ten years, but the bad economy is now tearing us apart. Please give us some help.
-A reader in Texas
Dear Reader:
The negative effect of a bad economy can and do extend to marriage. Loss of jobs, homes, health insurance and other necessities require tough decisions that may include a lower standard of living. Some people become preoccupied with blame, individually or on each other, and this mind-set leads to many negative feelings.
Joblessness, longer working hours, a second or third job and the stress that may arise in keeping a job can all result in impaired marital relations.
Communication patterns and topics of conversation are dominated by economic issues. Arguments, fatigue, and burnout often arise, and the relationship becomes lost in what the couple perceives as more important priorities.
In coping with financial strain, the couple needs to keep financial issues in proper perspective. When spouses have a strong commitment to each other and to the marriage, a bad economy is less likely to produce cracks in the relationship.
The couple should set aside time to be together in a relaxed atmosphere, free from other distractions. Have a date together -- something as simple as sitting in a park, having a picnic or taking a ride in the country.
Often an inexpensive weekend getaway brings some of the excitement back to the relationship and provides the stamina needed to proceed through difficult times.
Couples should focus on triumphs rather than tragedies. During the day-to-day struggle with economic downturns, emphasize humor, refrain from statements of defeat and avoid preoccupation with stories depicting difficulties.
Emotional factors, such as anxiety and depression, can negatively affect the relationship. If chronic worry, fear and preoccupation with economic difficulties have caused emotional dysfunction, then professional consultation may be needed.
Strong connections with family, friends, and religious institutions are important. Community agencies that are prepared to provide assistance during difficult times are also often helpful.
Couples need to avoid putting too much of their focus on financial matters, although that can be difficult at times. By increasing their focus on maintaining a healthy marital relationship, they create a foundation for problem solving and the development of creative coping strategies that help couples navigate through these troubled times.
