Have you often wondered why some individuals are able to form closer relationships than others, relationships which result in happier and more successful marriages, in lasting friendships, and in more productive employer-employee workings?
Being able to relate to others in an effective and meaningful way is a very complex subject and addressing it in a space as brief as this column necessitates a broad brush approach. Certainly factors, such as personality types and self-esteem determine to a large extent how an individual relates to others. But there are other variables that can make relating to others a positive experience. Let's examine some of them:
• Active listening. Use strong eye contact and focus on the other person's message. In so doing you demonstrate interest, concern, and caring.
• Feedback about your level of understanding. Tell the other person if you understood. Ask if some statement of agreement or disagreement is needed at this time.
• Willingness and ability to discuss feelings when appropriate. Let the other person know how you feel about what they are attempting to communicate. This often makes their effort more productive and rewarding.
• Ability to accept less than positive messages without becoming defensive and guarded. If you are willing or unable to do this, relating to others becomes a shallow and difficult task.
• Ability to offer constructive feedback. A critique need not be a criticism. A positive attitude helps.
• Freedom from stereotyped and prejudicial thinking. Keep openness to new and different points of view. This reinforces continual learning for both participants.
• Ability to establish trust and maintain loyalty. Relationships built on trust and loyalty are on firm ground.
• Ability to communicate clearly and in understandable terms with others. Keep the conversation free from ambiguity, double messages, and jargon-filled language. Clarity is the key.
• Ability to accept positive feedback. Compliments and expressions of gratitude are two examples.
• Comfort and ease in the presence of other people. Keep a general feeling of self-confidence when relating to others.
These factors may be present to a greater or lesser degree in any one individual. Some may be absent entirely. In examining your own ability to relate to people, improvement can come in those areas that are weak or absent. Inability to relate to others often produces isolation and sometimes conflict which make it difficult to enjoy good mental health.
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I’m an experienced Clinical Practitioner, Administrator, Professional Writer, and Lecturer.
