Families Need to Work Together as a Team

Stress within the family often occurs in part due to:

• Poor communication

• Poor organization.

• Poor time management.

All of these can be improved with cooperation and the desire to change.

Let’s look at the family situation that many would agree is not functioning properly.

The parents wake up to an alarm clock at 6:15 a.m. and immediately begin groaning about being tired an unenthusiastic about the day ahead of them. Perhaps they watched late night television or talked on the telephone too long that they didn’t receive an adequate night’s sleep.

After grousing at the world and at each other, they find there is no milk for breakfast, the children are unwilling to get up, the sink is full of dirty dishes and a child can’t find one of his shoes. The day begins in pandemonium; yelling starts, resulting in tears and bruised feelings.

Let’s look at this same family approximately 12 hours later.

Someone has been locked out because she forgot her key, the dishes in the sink are piled even higher, the children don’t want to eat their supper because their appetites were dulled by after school snacks and one child can’t do his homework because he left a necessary book at school.

Yelling begins again as loud music blares in the background. The cat is crying because it hasn’t been fed. But perhaps the worst of all, the house smells horrible due to overflowing garbage in the kitchen.

Some may say things could be worse. At least there was not violence or physical abuse, no utility shut off or eviction notice. Yes, they could be worse but with early intervention along with dedication to a healthier psychological environment within the family, perhaps some of the more severe problems could be avoided.

Where does the family start?

• Strong leadership and dedication to efficiency, order, and harmony must come from those providing the parenting. Yelling must stop, the desire to work together as a team must develop and basic management skills must be instituted.

• The first five to ten minutes in the morning are among the most important of the day. Calm, unrushed positive communication and action must take place. Allow enough time to prepare for the day. Set the alarm a little earlier if necessary. Resist the urge to gripe and complain. Depart each day on a pleasant note.

• Teach responsibility by making each member of the family responsible for a share of the duties necessary to make things run smoothly. Starting early in childhood increases the likelihood of producing helpful and cooperative young adults. Recognize the child’s efforts through positive communication.

• Monitor distractions such as television and telephone conversations carefully. Both can serve as rewards after more important tasks have been completed.

• Prepare for the next morning the night before by laying out clothes and books, leaving the house clean and straight and getting to bed on time.

• Above all, liberally express love and affection. Positive regard for one another along with the desire to work together for mutual benefits goes a long way in reducing stress within the family.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992