Organizing your family requires work

When parents work all day and return home to the family and home responsibilities, certain needs and requirements have to be fulfilled if harmony and emotional stability are established. Last week we talked about the point of view of the child. This week we will alert parents to ways they can achieve the status or an organized family.

• Much stress that arises in families where parents work outside the home can be attributed to disorganization. Getting the day started off right requires planning the night before so that clothes and materials for school are put in accessible spots for the child. Alarm clocks are set early enough to allow the family to prepare for work and school without being under a lot of time pressure. A bedtime is set for each member of the family to allow the proper amount of sleep to meet the challenges of the next day. Research has shown that the first five minutes of the morning can significantly set the tone for the day. If, during this time, communication is kept on a positive note instead of bickering, quarreling and shouting, then the proper psychological mind-set is placed in motion for the day ahead.

• The same can be said of the evening hours. Parents need to limit after-work activities to allow time at home with the family. Too many outside commitments, frequently borne from an inability to say no, can disallow the opportunity for healthy communication and interaction between parent and child.

• Time should also be set aside for planning and having family vacations and weekends together. Parents should minimize outside interferences for this very important time of renewal and togetherness. Adults often recall memories of recreation and leisure time with parents and treasure those times for more than material legacies.

• During the time the working parent must be away from the home, plans need to be made for security. Children who must be home alone after school should be given clear instructions on how to handle emergencies, phone calls, visitors at the door, and having friends over. When possible, parents should call home and check with their children as frequently as necessary to increase feelings of security.

• During the intervening time of after school and the return of the parent, the assignment of some chores to do on a regular basis can make the child feel like a helpful contributing member of the family unit. This can also be an aid to the parent's return to a home environment where some preparations are already in progress for a peaceful evening ahead.

Letting our children know that we love them and that they are the most important entities in our lives is the cornerstone for enabling the working parent or parents to have healthy relationships within the family.

Copyright c 1995 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D