Helping children get through life’s traumas

Mental health professionals have long recognized the detrimental effect of traumatic events on the psychological development of children. Children subjected to physical and/or sexual abuse often experience emotional scarring that impacts them negatively throughout their adult lives. Being exposed to the events such as the Oklahoma City bombing and the September 11th disasters can also produce psychological problems for the child. The death of a parent, sibling, or grandparent is also extremely difficult for children. Many experts believe that the consistent bombardment of T.V. violence upon children is very unhealthy for their psychological development.

Let us consider in today’s column some often less dramatic examples of trauma where children may need assistance from parents and caregivers:

• The beginning of school can often be traumatic. Separation from the parent, on a daily basis may be difficult for some children. Some of this trauma and anxiety can be diminished by letting the child experience time away from parents during infancy and early childhood in situations like mother’s day out, preschool/daycare activities, vacation bible school, etc.

• Changes due to family moves, especially if the change involves moving to another city, new home, etc. can often be traumatic. Children need to have the opportunity to voice their concerns, fears and anxieties about losing friends and being the new kid on the block. When possible, introduction to new classmates prior to the beginning of the school year in a new location can be helpful.

• A first visit to the dentist can be scary for children. A positive visit with another child that has already been to the dentist can break the ice and make the first trip easier. Dental offices have many techniques to make this first visit less stressful and parents can consult the dental office prior to the child’s first visit to get helpful information.

• When children face a hospital stay, an advance visit to the hospital and meeting with the health care staff can ally some fears. Many hospitals provide videos and other techniques that can desensitize the child to some degree to the fears of a hospital stay.

• One of the most traumatic events in a child’s life is the break up of the parent’s marriage. Here again, advance preparation can make a great deal of difference. Having both parents convey to the child that he/she is not responsible for the divorce and that both parents will continue to love and care for the child can help reduce trauma.

• The loss of a pet can be very traumatic for a child. This is often the first encounter a child may have with the experience of death. Helping the child understand that death is part of life and that the grieving process takes time is important.

Parents who have the wisdom and knowledge to help children deal with trauma can be a critically important part of the child’s healthy psychological development.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002