How One Family Is Coping With Change

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

Our family, like many others, is going through a lot of change due to the economic peril facing this country.

Downsizing has been the easy part.

We are facing things like losing our house, our car, our insurance and our jobs.

We have decided that losing our sense of purpose, values, family cohesiveness and sense of humor are not options. Also, as you have suggested in your past columns, we have spent a lot of time discussing our need to face change as challenge and opportunity rather than catastrophe.

We will survive and come out with stronger character, more family unity, and greater resilience for future hurdles.

I thought your readers may find the following family exercise helpful. It all began when we found a quote by a wise person who stated “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
We expanded this by all family members contributing new lines to the original quote, thus bringing us all into the process of thinking about the value of change. The list grows as we each come up with new reasons to value rather than fear change.

On a note board in our kitchen we wrote: IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DONE at the top in big letters. We then began to all contribute to the list with thoughts like the following:

You’ll always get what you always got.

You’ll always feel what you always felt.

You’ll always see what you always saw.

You’ll always hear what you always heard.

You’ll always be what you’ve always been.

You’ll always have what you always had.

You’ll always say what you always said.

You’ll always think what you always thought.

You’ll always know what you always knew.

You’ll always tell what you always told.

You’ll always worry like you’ve always worried.

You’ll always complain like you’ve always complained.

You’ll always fear what you’ve always feared.

You’ll always learn what you’ve already learned.

You’ll always imagine what you’ve always imagined.

This has helped our family embrace change creatively and gives us an exercise which brings us closer together in the process.

-A reader in Virginia

Dear Reader:

What a great idea. Exercises like this encourage mental flexibility needed in stressful times. Thank you, I’ll pass it on.