Irrational beliefs plague humans

With the increasing amount of information being presented on stress, it would seem that everyone would be in agreement on what stress is.

Stress for many people, through, is a result of thought processes and belief systems that are irrational. Based on material learned earlier in life, these beliefs are so firmly fixed in the individual’s everyday thinking that they are never questioned. They automatically direct a large part of a person’s behavior.

Irrational beliefs stem from messages received from our parents, older siblings or other significant persons in our life, such as grandparents, teachers and close associates.

Let us examine some of these belief systems and faulty ideas with the thought being given to the correction of these ideas:
• The first irrational belief is that we must be loved and approved of by almost everyone we come in contact with. This strong need for unconditional love and approval is prevalent in our society, and is common among individuals suffering from low self esteem and depression. Pleasing everyone and being loved by everyone is, of course, impossible. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t strive for mature adult relationships based on mutual respect and acceptance, but needing everyone’s approval just isn’t realistic. The perfectionist is often driven by a strong desire to be liked by all. Even the slightest rejection brings on a frenzied attempt to be perfect and seek approval.
• A second irrational thought is that we should be thoroughly competent, completely adequate, and always striving for higher achievement in all areas. Enjoying the areas in which we excel at something, but accepting other areas where we are less perfect and refrain from self-criticism for this lack of perfection is a sign of maturity.
• A third false belief is that some people are born bad and changing them is impossible. Research on personality development does not indicate that anyone is “born bad.” Life circumstances and environment does mold behavior and the way a person looks at life.
• Another belief is that when things are going well, trouble is just around the corner. Many individuals seem to live under the assumption that life is simply a series of problems and struggles punctuated by brief moments of rest, only to wait for the next difficulty to arise. This, of course, leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their belief that everything is a problem tends to make it so.
• This next belief follows the same vein. Many believe that human happiness is caused from external forces, and that individuals have little or no control over their own destiny. We must believe that we are the master of our own ship instead of being adrift in a row boat without any oars. We must believe that learning from past mistakes enables us to correct the same situation if it should arise in the future.
• The past is all important. Because something that once strongly affects one’s life does so indefinitely. This is not true because although past events certainly shape the present and future, the passage of time, new problems and challenges tend to make the influence of the past much less important than our focus on the present and plans for the future. The tincture of time has a way of healing many memories and helping us remember more of the positive aspects of the past.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984