Mean it when you say ‘TGIF’

For most of us, TGIF or “Thank Goodness It’s Friday,” is a phrase that describes our feelings about the end of our work week and our eager anticipation for the weekend. We realize our bodies and minds are ready for a change of pace.

There are those, however, who proclaim, “Thank Goodness It’s Monday.” These people dread the weekend and its lack of opportunity for the work production that excites them and sustain them. For them the weekend is dull, boring and even depressing. They frequently become tense, irritable and anxious on non-scheduled work days. They will try, if possible, to extend their work through the weekend or holiday period and are frequently found at the office after hours. When this is not possible, they will pack a brief case with papers and books and shuttle work back and forth. They aren’t comfortable unless work is always nearby.

Time spent with family, friends or in recreation is just a waste of time for the workaholic. Work is both the vocation and avocation for the workaholic. The inability to relax and enjoy activities outside of work is not even seen as a problem. The thought of a cruise in the Caribbean or fishing in a quite stream brings on cringes of displeasure. A workaholic frequently cancels dates and appointments in order to get more work done. Work is so much a part of life that any distinction between work time and time off is blurred and distorted. This over involvement in work and over emphasis on work frequently causes family problems and quite often is the root of the eventual breakup of the family.

Workaholics may start early in their career by simply working too hard to establish a foothold in their organization or to display their enthusiasm and drive to their superiors. They may work overtime in order to meet financial obligations which they claim are short term in nature, such as the down payment on a house or a debt assumed to pay for a college education. These well0intentioned and perhaps justifiable reasons for excessive commitment to work lose their justification as the workaholic persists in the pattern of long hours and extra work after the original reason has been resolved. The workaholic has acquitted a habit, one which, like other obsession, may be hard to change.

When family members or friends bring up the subject of these excessive work patterns, the workaholic will become defensive and even evasive. In my practice, workaholics may admit in confidence that they “slip off” to the office after regular hours by pretending to go hunting, golfing, or even attending a sporting a sporting event.

To avoid becoming a workaholic, or to change workaholic habits, you can follow some of these common-sense guidelines:
• Use your time, but don’t let it use you. Try to set a regular quitting time each day. Plan something after work to make this quitting time appealing, such as meeting a friend for tennis, coaching your child’s soccer team, etc.
• Build friendships, not simply acquaintances. Try to build friendships outside of your regular work associates. Seek leisure time conversations and discussions unrelated to your work. This will make you more interesting and more relaxed.
• Learn to say no to new or extra demands of your time. Delegate authority and responsibility to others. Avoid falling into the trap of feeling that only you can do your job correctly.
• Make the motto, “I work to live, not live to work,” a cornerstone of your lifestyle. Evaluate your goals periodically. Back off and look objectively at what’s happening in your life. Many people get so consumed with their work that they “can’t see the forest for the trees.”
• Avoid becoming involved in too many activities that require you to assume a leadership role. Activities that absorb too much time will simply become another job and require more work hours.
• Watch out for situations that start out to be fun and recreational but drift toward competition and the desire for perfectionism in the task.
• Try to emphasize and concentrate on tasks you like the most. Discard when possible tasks you don’t enjoy. Quit trying to do everything and learn that many unfinished tasks stay on the back burner quite well until a later date.

Remember that although work is a necessary and very important part of most people’s lives, it shouldn’t be all of anyone’s life. Establishing a healthy balance between work and leisure time is a sign of maturity and promotes good mental health. Learn to say TGIF and mean it.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984