Do you base self-worth on success at work?

Individuals with lowered self-esteem are often caught in the trap of basing too much of who they are on what they do.

These people judge their self-worth almost completely on their performance, especially in areas related to their work.

Example: Mary is a salesperson and has had several months of slow sales. She has been making business contracts, using sales approaches that have worked successfully in the past and she feels her presentations have been well received.

The facts remain, however, that a poor economy has affected her industry, she has many new competitors and her product is less in demand than in the past.

However Mary fails to see these facts as relevant to her decreased performance. Instead she falsely assumes that she is slipping. This perception begins to generalize to other areas of her life so she begins to doubt her capabilities as a wife, mother, and community leader, all areas where she has excelled in the past.

She becomes irritable, pessimistic and somewhat depressed. In short, she has equated who she is as a person with her sales volume. Mary needs to broaden her perspective, reorder her priorities, and then take a fresh look at what she can do to improve her sales.

To find out if you are caught in the performance trap, complete the following inventory. It focuses on your attitude toward work and how you view your work in relation to other areas of your life.

Performance Trap Inventory Part I

Answer true or false to the following statements:

1. I have difficultly relaxing and enjoying time away from work.

2. When working I feel “focused” and more of a sense of accomplishment than when not working.

3. Setting goals and frequently evaluating accomplishments are among my highest positives.

4. The paths of success and happiness are usually paved with hard work.

5. Giving up time with family and friends now in order to work longer will pay off someday.

6. Hard work never hurt anyone; the employees who work after hours and on weekends get the promotions.

7. Giving 100 percent of your efforts to getting ahead is what it takes, anything less will not be successful.

8. Community activities and hobbies, unless they promote my career, can wait until my career is further along.

9. Weekends can be boring and I’m usually glad when Monday rolls around.

10. Money is just a way to keep track of who is winning.

If you answered true to many of these statements, then you may be prone to equate your self-worth with how you perform in your work and career.

Such individuals frequently live to work instead of working to live. If they find themselves out of work due to termination, layoffs or downsizing, they frequently experience a loss of self-esteem and see themselves as failures.

Next week I will focus on another type of performance trap in relation to self-esteem.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1993