Low sex drive can stem from many causes
I recently received the following request. “Dear Dr. LeCrone. My husband and I have a happy marriage in most respects, with one exception. Our sex drives are very different. As far as I am concerned, his interest is abnormally high and he says that mine is abnormally low. From what I have read, there is a lot of variability in the frequency of sexual contact between a couple in a marriage and I must admit that I am on the low end of “normal”. I love my husband very much and want all areas of our marriage to be healthy. Assuming that I do have a low sex drive, what reasons could account for this problem? Signed, Willing to Change”.
Dear Willing: First, let me assume that you have had a professional evaluation in order to determine that your sexual appetite-libido is truly at the “low end of normal”. If this is a fact then there are a number of reasons that could contribute to this condition.
• Medication – many drugs affect sexual desire and functioning including anti-depressants, Amxiolytics (anti-anxiety medication) and antihypertensives. Different medications, affect different people and not all people are affected. Your physician or a pharmacist can tell you if any medication you take may be affecting your sex drive.
• Psychological problems including a history of sexual abuse – anger, hostility, or resentment in a marriage can produce a lack of desire and, withholding sex is sometimes an attempt at manipulation. Sexual abuse and trauma often produces later difficulty in sexual functioning and intimacy. Depression and anxiety can both affect sexual desire as can characterological problems such as narcissism.
• Diminished levels of hormones such as estrogen or testosterone can negatively impact sexual desire. Your physician can rule out this a possible source of difficulty.
• Aging – although sexual gratification and interests can remain high throughout our lives, certain changes do occur in human sexual functioning as we age. The average number of sexual encounters in a 60 year old is usually less frequent than in an individual in their 20’s or 30’s. Also, as individuals change, certain physical changes in regard to sexuality do occur which necessitates some compensatory efforts in order to continue helping sexual involvement. There seems to be increasing evidence that “use it or lose it” applies to the maintenance of healthy sexual interests as we age.
• People suffering from chronic medical conditions such as back problems, arthritis, and lupus often find their sexual interest is impaired or diminished. Making adjustments by modifying sexual techniques and routines can assist with these problems.
Fortunately, therapeutic intervention often corrects sexual difficulties including lowered libido.
Your physician or a mental health professional is a good place to start if your difficulty persists and you should choose to seek professional assistance. I hope that information is useful.
