Men who love the chase but hate the catch

Do you remember the first time you met him? His charm and self-confidence made him the center of attention. He stood out from all the other men in the way he dressed, the way he talked, and in the way he treated you.

You felt special. He said it was your charm, intelligence and good looks. You noticed that his taste for fine things was insatiable, that his unique exterior qualities were outstanding--the shoes he wore, his hairstyle, and wardrobe. He impressed most people favorably. He was gregarious, so ambitious and his success at most undertakings was inevitable.

When your eyes first met his, you felt a blush. Then came the realization that his manner produced an almost hypnotic effect.

You became his only interest. He planned expensive dinners, French picnics in the park, anything unique and out of the ordinary. Congratulations from your friends soon turned to cold-shouldered envy.

How could this be happening to me, you remember saying?

If this scenario sounds familiar, you may have been swept off your feet by a man with a peculiar set of characteristics which are well known to mental health professionals.

Men of this type are often manipulators and frequently lacking in conscience and good character. They seem unable to establish long-term relationships with a woman.

Some may be misogynists, defined as a man who strongly dislikes and even hates women.

Once of my professional colleagues who has developed somewhat of a sub-specialty in this area said that these men "hate women, but relish the thrill of the conquest. Once the prize is won, the thrill is gone. They love the chase but hate the catch," he says.

He says men like this are "great for women to date, but a disaster to marry."

Unbeknownst to other people and unrecognized by themselves, these men are frequently depressed and suffer from deep seated insecurities. They usually love women only from a distance.

Once they spot a woman's clay feet they drive her away. They frequently bring out a mothering quality in the women they date. Once a woman begins to relate to them in this manner they know they have her "hooked."

Needless to say, this sexual conquest is often a significant part of this complicated charade. The bedroom simply becomes one more notch in the gun of their long list of conquests.

As the woman becomes the sole object of this individual's conquest, she has no desire for escape from the relationship.

What happens to someone who ends up marrying a misogynist? Next week we will discuss the consequences of this unfortunate decision.