Reader shares some over the hill indicators

Dear Hap! Thought you might enjoy the following and want to pass it on to your readers. The original author is unknown.

• You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
• You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large . . . in that order.
• Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
• You start video taping daytime game shows.
• At the airport, they ask to check your bags . . . and you’re not carrying any luggage.
• You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.
• Your insurance company has started sending you their free calendar . . . a month at a time.
• At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
• Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
• When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out . . . and it stays out.
• One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
• Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”
• It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
• You discover the words, “whippersnapper,” “scalawag” and “by-crikey” creeping into your vocabulary.
• You’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
• You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
• You look both ways before crossing a room.
• You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
• You go to a Garden Party and you’re mainly interested in the garden.
• You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.
• The waiter asks how you’d like your steak . . . and you say “pureed.”
• At parties you attend, “regularity” is considered the topic of choice.
• You start beating everyone else at trivia games.
• You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• You refer to your $2,500 stereo system as “The Hi-Fi.”
• You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.
• You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.
• Many of your coworkers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
• All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.
• The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
• You have more hair in your ears and nose than your head.
• You take a metal detector to the beach.