During the past 20 years or so in my counseling practice, I have encountered many individuals who leave the full-time work force to retire.
Some have entered this phase with realistic expectations and goals. With some flexibility in their thinking, openness to change and proper pre-retirement planning, they have made a good life. Others, however, have a rigid mindset about what the future will bring. They view changes thrust upon them as threats and often resort to self-destructive behavior such as excessive drinking, self-pity and alienation from friends and family.
Retirement doesn’t have to end in a lonely, isolated retreat from society and familiar environment. One of the secrets to happiness during this period is to start by not thinking of one’s self as being retired, but by thinking of simply switching careers and vocational lifestyles. This “reframing” technique helps individuals transfer some of the best of their pre-retirement skills and abilities into this new phase. The secret, it seems to me, is to find activities that provide a feeling of accomplishment, the opportunity to make a contribution to others and with satisfaction in how time is being spent.
Our former president, Ronald Reagan, seems to be embracing his new lifestyle. Having left the White House with enthusiasm and excitement, he is planning speeches, books and other contributions to society. This seems to me to be simply another phase in his career, not the end of one part of his life and a drop into nothingness.
When I talk to people contemplating retirement, and they tell me the main thing they look forward to is sleeping late, having no responsibilities, a hassle-free existence and no one to answer to, I usually think to myself that they probably are flirting with future problems. It usually doesn’t take long for most people to tire of a sharp drop in stimulation. Inevitably, boredom sets in, which then often leads to depression. The retired person begins to complain of sleep difficulties, difficulties in concentration and periods of melancholy because of this self-imposed screeching of the brakes.
I have a good friend and neighbor who has made at least three career changes, some after the age by which many people cease to do productive things altogether. His thinking remains sharp or, as I am told by his colleagues, brilliant. His enthusiasm and energy astounds the whole neighborhood, and he serves as an example of how to “retire” without folding up your tent and spending the rest of your life in a rocking chair.
Finding new interests, though, is but one part of finding meaning during retirement. To combat loneliness, many individuals who engage in a self-fulfilling lifestyle tell me they have cultivated new friendships during retirement. And being around people can provide a sense of belonging. For some individuals, relocation may be a solution. After formal retirement, my parents moved to a community outside a medium-size city in Arkansas. In doing so they opened the opportunity to meet new people with common interests and similar lifestyles. For others, staying in the community where they had lived before retirement, but becoming involved in continuing education, volunteering or other activities that bring them into contact with new groups may be the answer.
Whatever you do, don’t consider retirement as a time to do nothing or disengage from people. Keeping busy and being around people have been found to be extremely important to those who have found retirement rewarding. Other elements can be considered in making these years happy, such as maintaining good health and planning finances realistically. These I will discuss in future columns.
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I’m an experienced Clinical Practitioner, Administrator, Professional Writer, and Lecturer.
