Should We Take Mama Home For Christmas?
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
My siblings and I need some guidance regarding a decision about bringing our 92-year-old mother to one of our homes for several days during the holidays.
My mother is very frail and has multiple medical problems, including emphysema, congestive heart failure and diabetes. She also becomes easily confused and agitated.
There is a lot of disagreement between the children about the wisdom of pursuing this plan. Some of the family will feel guilty if we don’t include her, while other family members are concerned about the guilt they will feel if things don’t go well.
Mother says she wants to make this six-hour journey and we would like your thoughts on this situation.
-A reader in Texas
Dear Reader:
You are wise to ponder the advisability of this decision. Seek the opinion of her physician and the staff at the nursing facility about her ability to make the trip in a healthy fashion. If they feel that the decision to go is sound, then ask them for instructions regarding her care on this extended outing.
Some of the issues that need to be addressed if she goes include the following:
• Her medication schedule and whether any special medical equipment is needed.
• Environmental concerns, such as the temperature in the home and any allergies she may have.
• Providing an appropriate bed for her.
• With her frailty and heart problems, her bathing and using the toilet can be real challenges for family caregivers. Talk to the nursing home about these routines and consider hiring a professionally trained, certified nursing aide to assist with these needs.
• Her special dietary requirements, such as sodium intake, her ability to chew and swallow her food, food allergies, and fluid intake.
Trying to follow her normal routine at the nursing facility during her visit is important for her physical and psychological well-being. The time she eats, her rest and bedtime schedule and any exercise routine she follows need to be maintained. Be careful not to overwhelm her with excessive activities, such as having too many people hovering over her at one time.
If you decide to take her out of the nursing facility, Remember that family teamwork and planning are essential for her well-being.
