Super Mom

She wakes up early before the alarm clock, tip toes down the hall to let out the dog, enters the kitchen to unload the dishwasher, and tackles the pile of laundry that needs to be folded. She hears her three kids, age twelve, nine, and four waking up, and they greet her a few minutes later with, “where’s the cereal…we’re out of milk…I can’t find my backpack.” She sighs, thinking about her day filled with carpools, board meetings at work, paperwork stacked on her office desk, and after school baseball practice, ballet, and homework. She loves her husband, her kids, and her job, but as she falls into bed exhausted after a long day of work and motherhood, she wonders how much longer she can keep up this pace. Her need to be a “super mom” is a non-stop whirlwind of house cleaning, closing deals, reading bed time stories, signing contracts, and balancing the hats of mother, wife, and work. Single moms often feel even more intense pressure but all moms eventually wonder “can I really do it all?”

This scenario probably sounds familiar to many reading this column. There is a pervasive “myth of perfect motherhood” in our society which implies that women can truly “do it all.” As in other forms of perfectionism the “perfect mom” often winds up feeling stress, chronic fatigue, and perhaps depression.

In order to move from being the perfect mom to being the healthy mom, the mom needs first to ask herself “do I need to be doing this all by myself?”

Communication, organization, and time management are keys to managing stressful households. Mothers and fathers, single or married, can provide strong leadership and dedication to efficiency, order, and harmony at home. The family should be viewed as a “team” that works together with each family member, including the father, if one is present, giving his full effort. Teach responsibility by assigning each member of the family a share of the duties necessary to make things run smoothly. Have each person organize his assigned household chores. Starting early in childhood increases the likelihood of producing helpful and cooperative young adults. These skills and responsibilities can also be passed on to the next generation.

Above all, families need to listen and learn from one another. Forge a partnership to encourage respectful admiration, mutual affection, and a healthy atmosphere of balance and teamwork.