Support Groups Can Help Single Parents

As she collapsed into bed at the end of a long day, she felt depressed and exhausted.

Being a single parent with two small children was taking its toll. Often left with doubts about how much longer she could continue, she had chronic feelings of inadequacy, helplessness and even hopelessness. Fatigue and frustration made her edgy and short-tempered, especially with her children. Feelings of guilt, doubt, and loss of confidence contributed to her depression.

One of the “catch 22” dilemmas she found herself in was a result of economic problems. She felt she had few options. If she took a second job, she would be away form her children longer periods of time and her stamina would be even lower. On the other hand, she felt she could not provide her children with the things they wanted.

She frequently fell into the trap of not separating her needs from her wants.

She felt terribly lonely and longed for meaningful adult companionship. As time passed, she recognized that her self-confidence was dwindling. She didn’t like her appearance. It worried her that she had gained weight since the birth of her last child and had not been able to lose it.

Her job provided her with little sense of accomplishment or challenge; her lack of formal education and skills training closed the doors to interviews that would have meant advancement.

When the crisis came, things seemed to completely unravel for her. One of her children became seriously ill; astronomical medical bills began to pile up. She had used all of her sick and vacation leave time. Terrible migraine headache began to occur several times a week.

Fortunately for her, one of her co-workers suggested a local support group for single parents. She felt hope and even a sense of relief at the first meeting. As time passed, she became more involved with the group and discovered benefits.

• A warm, caring and unconditionally loving and accepting environment in which others shared their tragedies and triumphs.

• A network of individuals- many of whom had already faced similar problems and found solutions- who were willing to share these solutions with her.

• A group of local professionals willing to provide helpful discussions on stress management, effective parenting, building self-esteem, managing finances and career development.

• A chance to engage in adult conversation, meet new people and even have some fun as the meeting often extended into dinner and a social hour. A free babysitting service provided by some of the local churches afforded the opportunity for single parents to have an evening out. As a result, many parents began attending church and thus gained further support, help and hope.

Partially as a result of help received from these support groups, this young mother regained belief in herself and her potential for coping, adjusting and becoming an effective parent.

She realizes the future will have rough spots and difficult times, but she has a network of friends who care about her and for whom she cares.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992