Temper Tantrums

The mother and her two year old rush to the grocery store after she picks
him up from school. Her body language expresses tension, fatigue, and a no nonsense mindset. Her child is also tired, hungry, uncomfortable, and this combination becomes a ticking time bomb. As she stops the grocery cart to pick up an item on a lower shelf, the child reaches out and pulls over a display that sends several dozen small items tumbling to the floor. The mother rises up, shouts at the child and her behavior causes the time bomb to go off when the child throws himself into a full blown temper tantrum.

This scenario is familiar to most parents of young children. Fortunately, there are ways to help parents deal with temper tantrums.

Parents might avoid temper tantrums in the first place. Parents can predict a tantrum in the making when a tired and hungry child is coupled with a tense and harried parent in a crowed restaurant or grocery story. Try to plan shopping trips or dining out carefully when young children are involved. Think of your child, yourself and also other diners and shoppers.

Also, it is normal for children to test parental limits. Two year olds are notorious for trying to gain control of situations by manipulation through temper tantrums. Parental consistency and clear presentation of expectations is essential in healthy parenting.

Giving a child a part in the decision making process by providing him with choices can serve to reduce a child’s frustration and negative outbursts. Try to use positive instead of negative statements in communicating with your child. For instance, state, “when you put on your coat you can go out to play” rather than saying, “you can’t go outside to play until you put on your coat.”

Use positive reinforcement in child rearing by praising your child’s good behavior and rewarding him with attention for positive behavior. This method can help build healthy self-esteem and reduce the frequency of temper tantrums.

Sometimes ignoring the child’s behavior will cause him to cease a particular
undesired action. However, this works better at home because in public places it is often necessary to remove the child from the situation in an attempt to calm him down.

Remember, temper tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development and a rite of passage in the parenting process.