The Gift Of Positive Parenting
Many of us are aware of the joy that gifts can bring to children as they are at a stage in their psychological development when presents elicit a lot of anticipation and excitement. These gifts, if given with the proper perspective in mind, can be a healthy part of their holidays and can create rituals of our own heritage and culture.
But there is another side of giving and perhaps parents would benefit from thinking of other kinds of gifts to give to their children at this time of the year. More specifically, give them the gift of healthy parenting.
The gift of unconditional love means love that endures despite unfavorable circumstances. You may not approve of their actions; you may not like their attitude or their lifestyle; and it may be necessary to take tough stances in response to their behavior.
But let your children know that you are going to love them despite these difficulties.
The gift of active listening means not trying to communicate with your child while you are preoccupied with something else, such as a phone call, dinner preparations or watching television. Instead, give them your full attention with eye contact, focus and genuine interest in what they are talking about.
Initiate physical contact. Hold them, kiss them and provide warmth and closeness to reinforce your affection and your love for them.
Set expectations for your children at a level that enables them to develop belief in their own potential without fear of failure. When children do not achieve their parents’ high expectations, the parents may signal dissatisfaction, either directly or indirectly, obviously or subtly.
Children striving to please to gain love and recognition drive themselves harder and harder. This effort can result in lowered self-esteem if the goals aren’t reached.
Tear down the walls of neglect or emotional abuse. For example, if alcohol and drug abuse are present in the home, the child grows up trying to avoid being around the parent and distance grows between parent and child.
Reduce discord and strife about family affairs. Situations like constant discussion of financial problems, health issues, in-law problems or marital discord create a basis for chronic anxiety and the child faces a future of doubt and fear.
Healthy parenting is the greatest gift a child can receive and a parent can give. Consider putting this way of giving on your holiday list.
