The Psychological Impact of Nicknames

The moniker given to him by his parents during his first year of life stayed with him throughout his life. Fortunately, Red, the nickname given to him because of the color of his hair, was one he liked.

His friend, Chubby, however, felt much differently about his name. Somewhat overweight as a youngster, the nickname drew many laughs, often making him miserable and angry. In fact, one could speculate he remained overweight throughout his life in order to live up to his name.

My own nickname, Hap, or more accurately Happy (a name shortened in college), was given by my parents and relatives during infancy. I have enjoyed having this nickname.

I remember a girl named Cuddles, however, who did not object to her name during childhood, but hated it during adolescence. During those difficult years when she was struggling with identity issues and acceptance from her peers, she felt her nickname was a handicap for her.

Nicknames may be given during high school or college years, and these are often given by friends. Almost everyone in their own clique has one and the effects of these- whether complimentary or not- are usually not deleterious.

Parents or relatives should consider several factors before assigning a pet name to a child.

• Is the name likely to draw negative attention or unflattering comments in later life? Is the child going to be comfortable with the name or will the child harbor resentment and spend the rest of his or her life explaining the nickname?

• Adolescent years are particularly stressful. The identity of the adolescent comes under assault and is in question as a part of this process of growing up. Having an unwanted nickname should be avoided. Contrary to the old rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break your bones,” names can sometimes hurt you.

• Nicknames often replace Christian or given names. Although this may be satisfactory or desirable in some cases, the name may be too permanent for change. I have known several adults who have wanted to be called by the name on their birth certificate, only to find it was difficult after many years of answering to a nickname.

• Diminutive names- usually implying affection, such as munchkin, are often given to small children, but rarely turn into a lasting nickname. They become transitory and short-lived and are quite common.

• If a child expresses a dislike for a nickname at some point, parents should consider dropping the name in favor of the child’s given name. Forcing the child to continue to go by an unliked name can have negative results.

• In some situations however, children may want a nickname as part of the ritual of becoming “one of the gang.” As long as they are happy with the name, parents should accept this name and not voice objections. These names, too, are often short-lived and don’t stick with the person throughout life.

• Nicknames can be fun and add a healthy psychological dimension to a person’s life.

Remember, however, that a name can stay with a person for a lifetime and can even define certain elements of life for them.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992