Valentines from the heart are always a hit

Since communication is a key component in maintaining good relationships, what better time to evaluate our communication skills than during the month of the Valentine?

We all talk a lot. We talk to our families, our friends, our co-workers, our business associates, but just talking doesn't make us good communicators.

Some of up put our thoughts in writing. We keep the facts straight, we strive for clarity and we try to engage the reader in understanding what we are saying.

With technology, the internet, electronic mail and faxes, we strive for succinctness, and for directness.

But when the time for sending Valentines came along, there is nothing that will replace a message from the heart. Over the years in following this custom, Valentines are now sent to friends, parents, teachers, or anyone who has made a significant impact on your life. Certainly they are still the message of lovers.

• If you are sending your thoughts to your loved one, be romantic. Boldly express your feelings. Nothing can equal you own thoughts in your own handwriting. But if you feel you lack the skill to make this message one that will thrill your spouse or sweetheart, the cardmakers have selections of all kinds that will come close to the words you might like to say. Choose your Valentine with care. Read it carefully and before you sign your name, mentally rehearse another thought that you would like to add to the sentiments already expressed. Then write it down and if it enhances the meaning on the Valentine, add it so the card if you are comfortable with it.

• Valentines to family members, your parents, siblings, or extended family members can express love and open paths of communication. Know what you want to say and say it as simply as you can. Keep a picture of the person in mind as you record your thoughts. Then anticipate their acceptance of your message. If the message reaches its mark and you feel it will be well received, send it.

• If you are sending Valentines to friends, select a card or write a note with sincerity and with purpose. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't overdo it. You want these Valentines to improve your relationships with these people. Friends are valuable and enhance the quality of your life. A Valentine is a great reminder of their importance to you.

Valentines to teachers, to your boss, to anyone who shares part of your daily life are also meant to be believable and to contain a spirit of appreciation. Keep it simple and be direct.

Finally, here are some checkpoints to consider before you compose or send a Valentine.

• I find it difficult to express my true feelings to anyone, even to my spouse or sweetheart.

• I would not describe myself as an emotional person.

• I find it embarrassing when I get sentimental.

• I tend to keep my true feelings under tight control.

If you have answered yes to most of these checkpoints, it may be difficult for you to compose you own Valentine. But you can start improving your communication with those of significance in your life by purchasing a Valentine that will send a message of love to your loved ones.

If, however, you can answer yes to these checkpoints, go for it, write your own thoughts. They are sure to hit the target.

• I like to say what I feel and to share my feelings with those for whom I feel great affection.

• I think of myself as an emotional person.

• I don't think it is embarrassing to be sentimental or romantic.

• I think my feelings are important.

Copyright c 1996 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.