Wedding Withdrawal

Dear Dr. LeCrone,

I have been married for about a month and I feel like I am missing something in my life. I have spent months planning the “perfect” wedding and now that I’m married and it’s over, I really don’t know what to do with myself. Because I’m a “wife” and not the “bride,” I feel empty, maybe even depressed. I imagined that marriage would be the most wonderful thing in the world, but I miss the life that I once had. I love my husband but I find myself crying without knowing why and my husband is worried that I am unhappy with him. I feel confused, let down, and sad. Why do I feel this way and can I snap out of it?

E.M. from Texas

Dear E.M.,

What you seem to be experiencing could be called “wedding withdrawal” or the “post-wedding blues.” For the last several months you have been anticipating a wonderful and significant life event, your wedding. You have probably spent a lot of time planning the details from the flowers, the cake, your dress, etc. Although this was one of the most important weekends of your life, your wedding is only a small part of a bigger picture, your marriage! Many brides and grooms get so caught up in the details of planning their wedding that they neglect to plan for what a marriage is really about. As a newlywed, you are currently in the midst of a major life event and are experiencing great change and transition. The sadness that you are facing may be in part due to the overall change from being single and having more autonomy and freedom to being married and coping with shared decisions. Realize that although you no longer have the same life you did as a single person, you are gaining a partner for life who can stand by you and support you in many difficult situations. I encourage you to think about marriage and what it means to be married. Talk with your spouse about your feelings, including those of sadness, and re-visit the reasons why you are committed and love one another. Now that you’ve shared and celebrated your wedding, it’s time to celebrate that life that you will be creating with and for one another. Congratulations on your marriage and best wishes to you and your spouse.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr. Ph.D. Copyright © 2005