The Newlywed Who Suffers From Post Wedding Blues

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

Several years ago you responded to a newlywed’s request for help with her feelings of despair, emptiness, confusion and depression, which occurred shortly after her wedding.

Like her, I had spent over a year planning and living the details of the perfect wedding. When I became a wife, I lost the role of being a bride, which I didn’t know I would miss so much. Being a bride was like living a fairy tale and being a wife felt like hard work.

Since that time, I have made great strides in adjusting to married life and my husband and I have a great marriage. Please share your information with others that may need it.

-A reader in California


Dear Reader:

This was my response to that newlywed. I hope this information will help others.

What you seem to be experiencing can be called “wedding withdrawal” or the “post-wedding blues.”

For many months you have been anticipating a wonderful and significant life event, your wedding. You have spent a lot of time planning details like the flowers, the cake and your dress.

Although your wedding was one of the most beautiful times of your life, your wedding is only a small part of a bigger picture, your marriage! Many brides and grooms get so caught up in the details of planning their wedding that they neglect to plan for what a marriage is really about.

As a newlywed, you are currently in the midst of a major life event and are experiencing great change and transition. The sadness that you are facing may be in part due to the overall change from being single and having more autonomy and freedom to being married and coping with shared decisions.

Realize that although you no longer have the same life you did as a single person, you are gaining a partner for life who can stand by you and support you in many difficult situations.

I encourage you to think about marriage and what it means to be married. Talk with your spouse about your feelings, including those of sadness, and revisit the reasons why you are committed and love one another.

Now that you’ve shared and celebrated your wedding, it’s time to celebrate that life that you will be creating with and for one another. Congratulations on your marriage and best wishes to you and your spouse.