College Freshmen Come Home for the Holidays

For many families with children in college, the holiday season may be the first opportunity for students to come home to visit. For those families of college freshmen, the first visit home can be a time of celebration and appreciation. Parents send their high school graduate off to college with hopes that he or she will become an enlightened student, well-rounded in a myriad of student activities and engaged in on-going academic thought. When the student arrives home for the first time for a holiday visit, parents discover that their child is, perhaps, not only somewhat more educated, but also more independent than when he or she left for college. Problems arise when parents expect their college-aged children to behave as they did when they were in high school and demand that they follow the old household rules and curfew hours. Less than six months after leaving home, the freshman student is expecting more freedom and independence. In order to enjoy the holiday season, parents and college students should talk about this different set of expectations.

For example, how much time is going to be spent together during the holidays? College kids often want to meet up with their high school friends as it is often the first time that they have seen each other since leaving for school. Likewise, parents are usually looking forward to being together as a family during the holidays. Allow time for friends as well as family togetherness and perhaps even consider hosting an event where family and the students friends can be together in a relaxed and fun atmosphere.

Parents, consider your child a young adult. The same curfews might not apply now as they did before, however college kids should not assume that evening hours are a free for all. Talk about reasonable hours and expectations. College age kids that are going out on the town sometimes forget that parents might want to know where and with whom they are going. A gentle reminder and asking non-confrontational questions are often ways in which to find out where this new college student is going. Parents can allow independence to their children and college age children can provide reassurance to their parents.

This holiday season give thanks for your family and have a positive homecoming for everyone.