Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is difficult and instant reward is often more appealing than waiting.
For instance:

Waiting until after lunch to eat a cookie.
Driving an older car in order to save for a down payment on a new home.
Completing one’s education and increasing the likelihood of higher income and greater job security.
Declining a social invitation in order to complete a homework assignment or study for an exam.

Many individuals never learn to delay gratification. During formative years the child may witness constant scenarios of “if it feels good, do it” when observing parents, peers and television. Thus, they develop the attitude that waiting to satisfy a desire isn’t a virtue.

Here are some suggestions for anyone wishing to learn to delay gratification.

The more time and obstacles that occur between setting a goal and receiving the final reward, the greater the risk that the ultimate goal will be forgotten. Also, trying to make too many changes during the same time period, setting unrealistic goals, and being uncertain or unclear about the reasons for establishing goals can all cause problems. Praise, encouragement, and recognition of partial accomplishments of long-term goals all serve to motivate continuous effort.

Frequently reviewing the desired result often helps overcome the temptation to give up or quit. People wanting to lose weight may carry a picture of a thinner person in their mind, their purse or wallet. Each time they are tempted to deviate from their diet they can look at it as a reminder of their goal.

Learn to view the process that occurs while striving for a long-term goal as gratifying in itself. A parent can teach a child to enjoy learning for the sake of learning, or he may simply help the child experience that learning something new is fun and stimulating. This encouragement can make children want to be life-long learners and stay in school. A parent can also help children apply learning to real life situations. This technique makes them see the value of education.

Striving for improved health often requires avoiding high-fat foods, snacks, and other tempting pitfalls. Becoming involved in the whole process of health promotion, including diet, exercise, emotional wellness, often helps a person overcome the pitfalls and stay focused on the desired result.

There are other interesting and useful suggestions in learning to delay gratification that I will discuss in future columns.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2005