Family Squables Can Occur Without Proper Estate Planning

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I have a message for all baby boomers who are going to leave an estate to their children.

I recently watched a close friend as her siblings brutally attacked each other over the division of their parent’s estate.

She described wounds that may never heal over the words and deeds that occurred after the death of her last parent.

Her parents left no instructions, other than a simple will, for the dissolution of a complex accumulation of assets.

Please let parents know of the terrible burden that is often left to their children when inheritance is not addressed before death.

-Saddened by greed

Dear Reader:

As the baby boomers age, the tragedy you describe will occur more frequently.

Heirs are interested not only in cash, property, and investments, but also in sentimental heirlooms.

If there is more than one heir, then cash and property can be divided equally among heirs with a competent will.

However, many times, unspecified items, such as household goods, furniture, china, a particular vase or painting, or even books and knickknacks, also need to be divided.

Feelings about these articles may be intense and arguments may erupt.

Hard feelings can occur when one heir lays claim to an item in the estate and later finds that another heir wants the same article. “I know mother would have wanted me to have this,” or “Dad told me that this was to be mine after he died” are common examples of crystal ball gazing and selective memory.

Another problem can arise from the division of the estate when one heir perceives that another heir’s current assets exceed his and thinks that the wealthier heir therefore deserves less of the estate.

The best way to avoid difficulties is proper estate planning prior to death.
For example, parents can compile and distribute to each family member a list of special bequests.

Perhaps a family meeting can take place to discuss this division of estate items. This list should then be incorporated into the will by an attorney.

Unfortunately, problems can arise without pre-planning so you should make your estate planning a top priority.

This will help families avoid bitter exchanges and allow them appreciate their shared legacy.

I would like to hear from readers about their own experiences with this problem.