Give child lasting gift of resilience

Would you like to give a Christmas gift to your children that have the following characteristics?:

• Something that will last forever, never wear out and is difficult to lose.
• Something they can use now and throughout their lives.
• Something they can and will want to pass on to their children and grandchildren.
• Something that can’t be bought but has a value exceeding anything else you could ever give them.
• Something you make that takes a lot of hard work and effort to produce.

If so, read on.

In today’s column I am going to talk about resilience – the capacity of an individual to successfully confront and deal with the difficulties in life which at times seem overwhelming and insurmountable.

Resilient individuals maintain a sense that they have the capacity within themselves to deal with life’s challenges rather than feeling that they must rely on other people or luck to determine their future. They bounce back from adversity and transcend obstacles.

Resilient individuals begin to develop a healthy sense of responsibility early in life along with the ability to delay gratification while pursuing preplanned goals. Developing feelings of optimism and positive expectations for the future.

These individuals develop problem-solving skills while young and believe that if they do not have the answer to questions, they can find it.

Criticism, to resilient individuals, is information that can be used to improve their performance rather than to attack them personally. Negative environmental situations are perceived by resilient individuals as being transient and time-limited experiences rather than prominent states of being where escape is hopeless and impossible.

Parents and care givers can give children the following resilience builders:

• Positive parent/care giver-child interactions during formative years are one of the essential elements of developing resilience.
• Positive school experiences and strong extended family networks such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. are important.
• Activities that produce positive experiences outside the immediate family such as church, athletics, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, etc., are important in the development of resilience.
• Positive care giver expectations for the child’s future helps the child believe in his or her own sense of a positive destiny.
• The development of positive attitudes and skills for seeking support.

If you are a parent or care giver, consider wrapping these presents up for your child this Christmas and giving them as a gift under the tree of life.