Helping Children Become Resilient

She seemed to be able not only to survive when exposed to trauma, negative events and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, but also to grow and develop from these experiences.

This woman and children like her possess what mental health professionals call psychological resiliency.

A few of the qualities that she possess include maintaining a sense of humor, empathy toward others, optimism, persistence and the ability to deflect unwarranted criticism. As she matures, she maintains a sense that she has the capacity to deal with life’s challenges rather than feeling that she must rely on other people or luck to determine her future. In short, she is able to bounce back from adversity and transcend obstacles.

This woman also possesses good problem-solving and decision-making skills in addition to having the ability to plan and think creatively. Being self-reliant, she develops a sense of independence early in her life. She believes that she can control the outcome of her decisions and that life’s events are not purely random.

Parents and caregivers can instill resilience in the children. Let’s examine how this can be done.

Positive parent and care giver interactions with children are of great importance in helping them become resilient. Use communication skills that emphasize positive qualities and characteristics. Teach them to learn to set goals and develop strategies to accomplish these goals.

Help them understand the importance of delaying gratification rather than simply giving in to every whim that emerges in life. Create a living environment that regularly displays optimism, problem-solving skills and empathy toward others. Help them understand the importance of consequences as a result of the decisions and choices they make.

Positive school experiences and strong extended family networks such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, are important. Emphasize social connectedness by encouraging healthy friendships in their lives.

Positive expectations from parents and caregivers for the children’s future help them believe in their own sense of a positive destiny and the ability to plan and carry out desired direction.

Resilient children learn to accept change as a necessary and important part of life. Parents and caregivers can help children develop this outlook by serving as models for successfully dealing with change.

All children and adults need to remember the famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”