Rumor spreaders like to be “in the know”

How are things with you?

Be careful how you reply to that innocent question. You answer may feed a rumor as it is repeated to another friend or colleague, then repeated again as the facts are enlarged or changed as body language, tone of voice, and even some information is added.

When information is exchanged, as the result of a single conversation or mentioned in a group setting, it may spread as one person tells it to another, who tells it to another and so on.

Rumors are fun for a lot of people. Most of us share a natural curiosity about other people and events.

If Mary says things are the pits for her, her friends may begin speculating and adding bits and pieces to make a large mosaic of misinformation about Mary’s state of being.

If John says things are going absolutely great, his colleagues may suspect a hidden agenda behind the boss’s comment that John is moving ahead. By the end of the day, the coffee group may have decided that John is “the one” to be promoted.

Rumors often thrive in the absence of standards of evidence. Distortion of facts is a way to make a simple remark a little different. Two conditions usually exist for a rumor to persist:

• It must be of interest to both the teller and the listener. (If Mary’s friend weren’t interested in her, it wouldn’t really matter that she says things aren’t going well. If John’s colleagues weren’t curious about who was being considered for the promotion, they wouldn’t place any emphasis on his statements.)

• The facts may be ambiguous in some way, while the amount of rumor in circulation varies with the importance of the subject and the evidence pertaining to the topic. (Everyone has already heard a little about Mary and her husband having difficulties. Some in the office have heard that John has applied for mid-management spot even though he has less seniority and less expertise than others who are being considered.)

Why do some people thrive on rumors? We want to be known as well-informed, we like to speculate and have some means of sociable exchange. We consider ourselves as perceptive, right on target in understanding people.

Rumor-spreaders may perceive they are building their own ego by being “in the know” and by “having a source of information.” And most of us have neither the time nor the patience to check a statement of accuracy.

If we can accept rumors for what they are- rumors and not facts- then playing the game is usually harmless. But if we continue a rumor that might destroy a person’s reputation or credibility, then the game is dangerous.

Trying to track down and correct a rumor is like searching for a feather in the wind. It is both time-consuming and non-productive. Organizations or businesses that rely on rumors as a means of communicating risk fostering misunderstandings. Those who habitually repeat rumors risk ruining their credibility.

The next time you ask someone how things are going, listen carefully. And don’t add anything to the information you are given.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1994