Self-esteem problems develop in childhood

Individuals with a negative self-concept tend to dwell on disappointment

The following is a brief questionnaire relating to an individual’s self-esteem. Answer true or false to the following questions.

• I find it hard to deal well with criticism most of the time.
• I tend to become “addicted” to unhealthy relationships and feel too dependent on other people.
• I tend to dwell on disappointment and failure.
• I am often burdened by jealousy and envy.
• I do not set personal goals and follow through with them.
• I am easily embarrassed and usually not able to see humor in my own shortcomings.
• I often equate my mistakes with personal failure.
• I often focus my own negative attributes and characteristics.
• In communication with others, I often find myself feelings defensive, guarded and resentful.
• I tend to seek others’ approval much of the time.

Individuals with lowered self-esteem tend to answer true to many of these questions. Their problems usually develop in childhood and adolescence, often stemming from a dysfunctional and psychologically unhealthy relationship with their caregivers. Unfortunately, since parents serve as models for their children, these problems are often passed on to the next generation, thus the cycle continues to repeat itself.

On the other hand, a person with a positive self-concept has acquired or developed qualities and characteristics like these:

• They are frequently seen as givers rather than takers.
• When confronted with a crisis, they are able to maintain emotional self-control and look for positive solutions.
• They are able to love in an unconditional way and separate love from their approval of someone else’s behavior.
• They are fun to be around as they accept their peers.
• They can share in your good fortune, or offer help in your misfortune.
• They demonstrate learned optimism in their daily lives.
• They always seem to look for the silver lining.
• They perceive themselves as significant contributors to their family and community.
• They have self-discipline and good judgment.
• They have learned to balance their lives with work and pleasure, friends and family.
• They respect the rights of others and do not infringe on those rights.
• They formed their moral values at an early age. They acknowledge a higher being.
• They keep on learning for the sake of learning.

Healthier self-esteem may be accomplished by those seeking the necessity for change and willing to make the effort to make these changes.

Copyright c 1991 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.