Teens as prone to worry as elders
Parents worry. Grandparents worry. And studies show teenagers worry. Whether kids are happy or unhappy, well-adjusted or maladjusted, they, like their older generation, worry a lot.
Parents need to know what teens worry about to guide them through adolescent years. Research shows that teenagers worry about school, family, appearance, relations with peers and the future.
Worry about school performance heads the list; after all adolescent spend more time in school than any other place. If they are competitive, they worry about the challenges facing them and whether someone will score higher than they do. If they have a low academic rating, they worry about continuing in school and if they will be a failure in life. Performance in school greatly affects their self-esteem and often excludes them from desired groups.
Adolescents worry about losing a parent. If one parent sis deceased, the fear of losing the other becomes almost a morbid fear. Adolescents also worry about parents divorcing. They have placed a happy family high on the list of preferred lifestyles.
Adolescents worry about their appearance. During the growth spurt stage, they feel gangly, hate their size and shape. As they move into the late teens, their appearance becomes a greater concern as they dress to please the opposite sex and experiment with makeup and hair designs to change their looks.
They are concerned about whether other kids like them. They value the opinions of their peers more than other group. The goal of popularity may influence them to abandon previously held values. While children in elementary grades display compassion for others, the young adolescent often loses this concern as he becomes self-absorbed.
And they worry about the future. As current events are discussed at school and the dinner table, they worry about the world they will live in. will there be war, is space travel really going to happen, what occupation will I have, how much schooling do I need to prepare for my livelihood? Will I find someone who will love me?
How can parents help? Although most worries can’t be explained away, sharing the fear and talking about it with adults and adult groups often reduces the intensity.
Parents should share concerns with adolescents and talk about their worries. Get them to verbalize and express what is bothering them. Church youth groups can hold discussion groups and facilitate interaction.
Encourage adolescents to perform community service and get involved with others. They may visit the elderly; recycle materials, direct sports activities for young children or help at day care centers.
Set an example and show adolescents the way to eat right, exercise and get enough sleep. A healthy body and mind alleviate many worries. Adopt the attitude about minor problems that “this, too, will pass, tomorrow will be a better day.”
If adolescents show signs of extreme stress and unexplained reasons for worry, parents should consult the family doctor, minister or a mental health professional. While worry is natural, diverting energy to positive gains leads to a healthier state of mind.
Copyright c 1990 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
