Don’t overlook the silver linings

I have a friend who has the remarkable ability to quickly perceive solutions to problems before anyone around him can. According to him, his problem-solving style was based upon a perception of the world that I think bears examination.

He once told me that when he was a child, his grandfather made up puzzles and riddles for him to solve. They spent many long winter evenings playing these games in front of the fireplace in his grandfather’s home. The grandfather encouraged him to consider any approach he wanted so he learned to tackle problems in such a way that there was never a closed door, never a lost opportunity and never a dead end. Instead each option had the potential for something new, and an option, once exercised, led to new information that became useful in the search for a positive ending.

Through these experiences and others, my friend developed the ability to perceive the world as a place to experience new opportunities. He learned to reflect on the past so he could use past experiences for learning, building and growing.

People gravitated toward my friend and enjoyed his presence because they grasped a feeling of self-confidence and uniqueness in him. My friend considered a bleak, cold day an opportunity to feel one end of a weather spectrum that would make him appreciate even more the warm spring days ahead. If there was anything he did not like, it was a lack of opportunity or potential change.

Don’t misunderstand. He was not without an appreciation of stability. He was instead largely free from doubt and anxiety about the future. Obstacles were viewed as challenges; change was welcomed as adventure. A half-empty glass was half-full; an empty one had the capacity to be filled. The end of a day was the time to look ahead; the sunset was a prelude to another sunrise. Each day was part of the process of living and was seen as a piece that would fit in a large puzzle of life and have meaning for the future. What others saw as a disappointment, he perceived as useful information to help him with the next step in his life.

My friend once was asked if he had ever interpreted a situation or an outcome as unfavorable. His response was that if he kept his expectations flexible, he tended to perceive things as favorable or less than favorable, rather than seeing each outcome in pass-or-fail, win-or-lose, good-or-bad way.

Each day was seen as a commodity that, when used up, never could be replenished. He was therefore never bored, rarely sick and usually happy. He searched for and won a spouse with similar characteristics, which surprised no one. They made quite a team and their children began developing a self-assured, healthy outlook on life at an early age. The energetic, whole of this family was greater than the sum of its parts. They became a tremendous asset to the community in which they lived, radiating vitality, enthusiasm and hope.

Still, my friend had a number of skeptical non-admirers who considered him arrogant, unrealistic and even unlikable. The basis of their feelings was their perception of him as a threat, and they never took the time nor made the effort to get to know him.

The last time I had an opportunity to be with my friend, I cam away with the feeling of hope, renewal and optimism for the future. Do you know someone like my friend? I hope so.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1989